Shame is a new concept for me. I lived it, but I never understood it. From as early as I can remember I’ve felt a deep sense of shame, a belief that I was inherently such a bad human I deserved nothing.
As a child I was called “practically perfect”. My family thought this was cute. I independently did my homework, brushed my teeth, laid out my clothes for the next day. What my family & I didn’t understand was that this obsessive need to do everything perfectly came from my profound sense of shame.
Here’s how it works.
As an infant, toddler, or young child, your family is unable to meet your needs. Attempts on your part to get attention, love, even basic necessities, are met with hostility or simply ignored; brushed off. In my case, I was the 3rd child in 3 years. My mother was alone…
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